What do those numbers mean? Seems kind of random. What if I told you those numbers are HUGE? (But the one on the left has been bigger.)
I hit a milestone, a big one on a LONG ROAD I have been on.
This is my current weight. Been hovering just above it for like 4 weeks, finally hunkered down and crossed the line. To be honest, can’t remember the last time I was below that number. It has felt like it was beyond the horizon. Unattainable. But I have been slowly chipping away at it. Wait, getting ahead of myself.
That’s how much weight I have lost on this journey. See those 2 pictures on the right. Those were the ONLY 2 pictures I could find where someone took a “full body” picture of me. Pretty sure there were probably more taken, but they have been erased from history. The guy on the left is actually me, taken yesterday. He’s not Don Draper or anything, but he’s looking pretty good.
Have self-esteem much? Do I feel confident? Avoiding mirrors/group pictures?
What’s weird, is all of these questions have been front and center at times. But I have never let my weight/appearance define me. Have I struggled, yes. Has the undeniable love of my wife overpowered this, yes. Has my kids love kept me afloat in tough times, yes. Has my walk with God carried me time and time again, yes.
That’s how long it’s been since I was at 315 pounds. 7 years since the diabetes diagnosis. 7 years since I found out I was NOT indestructible. Ok, technically it was 6 years and 9 months, but the narrative is working here. 😉
Take a look at that graph. What do you see? Do you see failure after failure, or do you see success? Look closer.
Why am I telling you this? Why share something this personal?
Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans. ~ Proverbs 16:3
It’s the Journey. For all of you who are trying to get somewhere, trying to attain, trying to lose, trying to be kinder, trying to become better, trying to find out who you are and why you are here, it’s not “the now”.
The world wants perfection, but that graph is my reality. It’s beautiful to me. Life is wins and losses. Joy and heartbreak. Love and loss. Success and failure. Sin and redemption. Sickness and health. The stumble and the “pick your self up”. But the graph shows the whole journey, and the downward momentum is consistent over time. Can I do better, yes. But I could be doing worse, much worse. I could have given up.
How’s YOUR journey going, it’s not too late to get on the path (or get back on it).
For those of you trying to lose weight or who struggle with weight. When I was diagnosed with Diabetes at 315 pounds, I “pegged” the meter at over 350 blood sugar and an A1C number through the roof. Currently I have a pre-diabetic A1C number, blood sugar is between 120-140, and I walk 3 miles a day, 6 days a week, at just under 50 minutes. I obviously watch my carbs. But don’t deny myself. If it’s pizza night, it’s a smaller meal at lunch. It’s about enjoying vacation, but “behaving” the week before and after. It’s about a “off the grid day, not a off the map week. For me, it’s about moderation. When I lose sight of that, the weight goes up.
Whatever works for you. That’s the trick, find what works for you, not what others are doing.
I want to see my grand kids grow up, be there for my kids weddings, and grow old with my wife. But there is something different I focus on, the thing that always gets me back up off the mat.
My goal isn’t a weight. My goal is that I can walk into any store, see a shirt I want, try it on and buy it. I can’t tell you how many cool shirts and concert t-shirts I have walked away from over the (how many?) years cause they “just don’t fit”.
I’ll get there, there’s no number, there’s no date, just “the journey”.